Brother-in-law.

I never had a brother-in-law before, and I’m close to 50 years old by now.

I got married for the first -and last- time a couple of years ago, after meeting the woman who made me change my mind about marriage, fatherhood and, in the end, about life.

More about that later, but for now let’s focus on my brother-in-law. I actually have two of them now. I like them both, they’re really nice guys and I feel lucky that my wife has a pair of such cool brothers. This, however, is about one of them.

Loves movies and TV shows, he’s a geek at heart, building his own computers, he edits video, he plays the piano and guitar with amazing skill, he’s intelligent and kind. Has a sharp sense of humor too!

We’ve been on very good terms ever since we met and he got used to having my tattooed, bearded and older self dating, and then marrying, his sister.

When the pandemic came, and my wife was pregnant, we decided to move into the huge house where he lives with their parents, my in-laws. He has a kind of private apartment, a whole floor connected to the rest of the house, but with a separate entrance it he wants to use it.

I’m sure we would have managed, but having this kind of support during the lockdown seemed like a great idea, so we left our home and found ourselves living in this house, the five of us at first, six when the baby came, plus a dog and one cat that is seldom home.

I had spent some time with my brother-in-law, obviously, but I had never lived with him. It quickly became one of my favorite parts of the arrangement.

We were put in charge of the food runs, going to the supermarket became our thing. We are now pros at this, shopping has never been better. The drive there and back is filled with talk. Sometimes deeper, most times just the kind of disposable conversation that feels so good, about this and that. Talking seems to have become more serious in mood since the pandemic started and I missed the old throw-away talk we used to get before, when we were care free.

We’re driving around in his new car, when we need to go to town, or the doctor, or anything else. He had just bought it before all this crazy mess and, by now I’ve done more kms on that car than he has. Bonus points: first time I have a car with CarPlay, so I’m enjoying it even more. Our own car is parked outside, but his is more comfortable for the baby, and he told us we should use it whenever we need it.

He’s also our barber, and has a surprisingly good technique. He’s been doing our hair since March!

As he keeps really odd schedules, he sometimes sleeps through the day and has a snack at 2AM or 3AM. A few times already we met at that time, both of us the only ones awake in the dead of night, and talk a bit more.

Whenever Baby Clara is feeling cranky, we go down to his place, and he’ll sit at the piano, or pick up the guitar, and play for her. That always gets her to sleep. She loves her uncle’s music.

One day we’ll move out, back to our place in the city, and we’ll leave all this behind. And I already know this is one thing I’ll miss.

I feel he’s not a brother-in-law anymore, he’s my brother.


This is day 006 of my #100DaysToOffload challenge. You can find out all about this project at 100daystooffload.com.